Season 3

This week we are off to Byron Bay for Gamble’s wedding to the one and only Wolf Pup.

FAVOURITE OUTFITS

Alin’s beach cape!!!

Real Housewives of Melbourne Season 3 Episode 5 Alin

The beach stilettos in the sand.

Real Housewives of MElbourne Season 3 Episode 5

But honestly, was there anything more divine than Gamble’s dress? Absolutely stunning job, Alin!

Real Housewives of MElbourne Season 3 Episode 5 Gamble Wedding

TALKY TALK: FAVOURITE QUOTES

  • “Maybe next time we’ll…oh well no, there is no next time..this is it! This is our last wedding!” Whoops, Gamble.
  • “I’m there for like four days, so I’ll probably need…three outfits a day.” Gina Liano only takes the bare essentials when going away.
  • “I don’t think you have the parts to marry me!” Josh not getting it, as usual.
  • “I thought my hair pieces were gonna end up in Melbourne.” Gina worried about the windy weather.
  • “It is? I mean, hello?” Lydia on whether Gamble’s marriage is “forever”. Harsh, even for you, Lydia!
  • “A percentage of Jackie’s psychic vibes are pointing out the obvious.” So true, Gamble. So true.
  • “It’s like if you’re a butcher, you can’t be cutting up meat everywhere you go. At some point you’ve gotta stop.” Lydia’s justification for Jackie not wanting to give out “psychic vibes” all the time.
  • “I find it quite…you know…banal that, you know, she would bring up something from 1903…” Lydia getting her words mixed up again.
  • “Are my tits out? I think I flashed my mother before!” Gamble having issues with her implants staying put.
  • “Can you imagine the bride with wet hair? She’d be like a….like a….a rat..with…wet hair!” Lydia.
  • “Where’s the f*$%*& shine, shine, shine when I need it.” Gamble is having a terrible, no good, very bad day.

FAVOURITE BITCHY MOMENT

Jackie not being afraid to call Pettifleur rude even if she comes across as rude herself: “Yeah, but what I’m saying is I’m having a conversation now with this lady about things that have happened that you haven’t been around so for you to interject into a conversation that you actually don’t know anything about is a little bit rude.”

FAVOURITE RICH PEOPLE MOMENT

Gina needs three outfit changes per day. I mean, who doesn’t?

Anyone else find it extremely stressful listening to the lack of organisation for Gamble’s wedding? No vows, no Plan B, meeting the celebrant for the first time the day before the wedding. This only works for rich people. The rest of us plebs need a month worth of checklists to get ready for a wedding.

FAVOURITE SECONDARY CHARACTER (AKA HIRED HELP)

Real housewives of Melbourne Season 3 EPisode 5Josh made the mistake of suggesting flats for the beach, and then also struggled to find the shelf of hot pink handbags, the poor love. Looks like he’s kinda come out of his shell this episode. we even saw a smile! And heard him crack a joke!

OMNOMNOM: FOODIE MOMENT

Real Housewives of Melbourne Season 3 Episode 5

Lydia and Pettifleur patch things up over a big bowl of chips and an antipasto platter. The food, however, is wasted on them as Housewives live on sodawater and air.

FACIAL EXPRESSION OF THE WEEK

Real Housewives of Melbourne Season 3 Episode 5

The look on Jackie’s face when the housewives were talking about baby vomit and poo. Priceless.

HOUSEWIFE OF THE WEEK

I crown Jackie HOTW.  She’s not afraid to wear curlers on TV, she tells it like it is and she has the BEST facial expressions.

Jackie Gillies Real Housewives of Melbourne
“If that’s true, that’s fucked, Janet.”

QUESTIONS

  • What was your favourite eyewear from tonight’s episodes? Was it Janet’s ex’s gold rimmed bunnies? Or Charles’….huge frames? Or Ben’s reflectors?
  • Were you shocked to find out that Alin had a girlfriend?
  • Has Gina gotten too big for her britches?
  • Have you ever seen a rat with hair?

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