The Housewives are in Dubai and it’s Mean Girls: Desert Storm.
We’ve gotta say, this was one of the best episodes to recap. So. Much. Stuff!
Chyka’s Swiss cheese top is pretty cute!
Lydia’s ‘Liano’ dress.
Pettifleur’s self-confessed attention-seeking outfit of a very sheer skirt (showing half her arse) and very sheer top.
Lydia is going to meet a sea lion in Dubai. This is what she decided to wear to meet a sea lion in Dubai.
Jackie looking like Pettifleur in some bright headwear.
Pettifleur bummed out that she was in this white number instead of just her bikini.
TALKY TALK: FAVOURITE QUOTES
- “They’re only the local women that wear the local…umm..what do they call it? I forget. Mmm..that.” – Lydia
- “I get the culture and I almost fit in. When I’m there I almost look like them. Funny, isn’t it? It’s like ‘Oh, you so look Arabian!’ and it’s like oh, okay.” – Lydia
- “Pettifleur’s like a Debbie Downer!” – Jackie
- Gina (about Lydia): “Oh cause she looked like a hot raunchy mama.” Pettifleur (thinking she’s talking about her): “Oh, thank you.”
- “Lydia will flirt with anything it seems, even a sea lion.” – Gina
- “It was JUST DIVINE. A seal has the hots for me? Never had that sort of fish near my lips! Did anyone get that or did I just get that?” – Lydia, it just keeps going.
- Gamble: “You looked really amazing. I think it was just jealousy.” “I was just dressed, you know?” – Lydia, humble as ever.
- “Janet, somewhere a village is missing their idiot. Go find it.” – Pettifleur.
- “She was very dismissful of, you know, Pettifleur.” Lydia, please, I can’t keep up with this!
- “I’m gonna sit here cause everyone’s givin’ me the shits now.” – Gina
- “I look like Louie the Fly and I’m going to rock it.” – Pettifleur’s conclusion after two hours of trying sunglasses on.
- Pettifleur: “I’m a small person. She may be able to physically challenge me but intellectually she has no bloody chance because my tongue is like a silver sword and I’ll cut real deep.” Gina: “Oh, Pettifleur. Shut the fuck up!”
- “I could ride around on that camel all day like Lawrence of Arabia or…that’s probably a bit old fashioned…what else? Someone else who has camels.” – Janet
- “I work super hard on my body and trust me at that time I was thinking ,’I would love to strip everything down and jump around in my bikini’ because I wanna show these women what’s underneath.” – Pettifleur
- “I don’t know why Lydia thinks it’s important to be compared to somebody no one’s ever heard of. A Kardashian might be more of a comparison I’d want to be compared to. Not someone from The Bachelorette. I mean, yawnsville.” – Gamble
- “I do not think that Lydia is writing her own blog. First of all, it’s in English and it does not sound one single bit like Lydia.” – Janet
- “It’s almost like I’m giving them the shits. I wish I was.” – Lydia
- “You think you’re King Shit. When we’re at the beach, you started crying. Boo hoo! What? Because nobody said you look fuckin’ fabulous?” – Jackie
- Pettifleur: “You asking me?” Jackie: “Who else am I asking? The ghost behind ya head?” Gina: “Is there one?”
FAVOURITE BITCHY MOMENT
The ENTIRE dinner scene in the desert. Where does one begin? Everything was dredged up for old time’s sake, but it was essentially a major dressing down of Pettifleur who was attacked, and let’s face it, rightfully so, by everyone at the table. Which resulted in – what is sure to be one of the most gif-ed and screen grabbed moments in television this year – Pettifleur slamming her hands down on the table and shrieking “STOP THE FUCK!”.
FAVOURITE RICH PEOPLE MOMENT
Poor Chyka and Lydia were forced to fight it out over who has been to Dubai the most amount of times. Chyka (let’s get real – Arena TV) had graciously organised a trip to Dubai for the girls and was really excited to show them around. But instead it became the “Lydia from the United States of Emirates Show”, who, she told us several million times, has been there 26 times.
FAVOURITE SECONDARY CHARACTER
These bad boys for slobbering all over the housewives and not giving a toss.
OMNOMNOM: FOODIE MOMENT
Not sure what this is but it looks incredible.
FACIAL EXPRESSIONS OF THE WEEK
HOUSEWIFE OF THE WEEK
Praise Chyka, Queen of Diplomacy. This week we had Pettifleur criticising her clothes and telling her that she needed darker lipstick, and Chyka was all, I happen to like the way I look thank you very much. Then there was Lydia competing over passport stamps to Dubai, toasting over Chyka’s toast, and carrying on about her blog being quoted in the Daily Mail, and Chyka just kept a straight face and didn’t rise to the bait (although, based on the promo for next week she may have changed her mind about snapping back!). We can all learn a few things from Chyka. Love you! P.S. How cute was her reunion with her son B.J.?
- Have you ever shouted your friends to a luxury holiday overseas?
- Has a sea lion ever had the hots for you?
- Have you been a victim of sexual assault in a shark tank?