Season 3

Here we go again! Episode 3 of The Real Housewives of Melbourne introduces us to Pettifleur’s sister, Lydia gets a new car and Gamble hosts a “wedding invitation party”.

FAVOURITE OUTFIT

Pettifleur’s Russian Chanel hat.Real Housewives of MElbourne SEason 3 Episode 3

Followed very closely by the satin dressing gown Lydia decided to wear to Gamble’s party.Real Housewives of MElbourne SEason 3 EPisode 3

TALKY TALK: FAVOURITE QUOTES

  • “You can have everything in life, but not at the same time.” – Chyka
  • “I can’t remember everything.” – Pettifleur’s excuse for not knowing where her sister’s worked for the past 8 years.
  • “Joanna is so gorgeous. If someone needs anything, she’s onto it straight away.” – Lydia not understanding what she pays her housekeeper for.
  • “So forgive me for being so WTF!” – Janet’s step-daughter showing her age and using the cool kids lingo.
  • “Choong choong, not ching ching…oh whatever, it all sounds the same to me.” – Classic Lydiot.
  • “Chyka’s pretty diplomatic. I mean she would see the good in Hitler. You know, she’d be like, ‘Hey, yo, Hitler! Do you need catering?” – Brava, Gamble.
  • “I’ve been a true friend. Well, a friend.” – Aww, Lydia, you’re such a sweetheart.
  • “First of all, I’m not going to talk to somebody over the phone. Nor will I text.” Well, we all know that’s not true, Lyds. How else do you get in touch with Shane Warne?
  • “The only thing I’ve said behind your back – but I’ve said it to your face – is that I think that you are annoying, that you’re full of shit and I said it to your face!” – Jackie skipping the niceties.
  • “Where have you come from? Ya Mamma’s pichka? Next!” – Jackie being everyone’s spirit animal.

FAVOURITE BITCHY MOMENT

Pettifleur copped it big time this episode. First it was Gamble and her step-son bitching about her over dinner: “She’s a massive cow”, “She’s a massive dairy cow”. Then Pettifleur’s sister got in on the action! During the most awkward and stilted conversation between the estranged siblings, Gillian tells her the reason they lost touch is because she isn’t “normal and natural” and is up herself! Her own sister can’t stand her. Pettifleur, of course, was flabbergasted to hear this. I’m totally certain that she took the feedback on board.

Real Housewives of Melbourne Season 3 Episode 3
Pettifleur looking natural and normal.
Real Housewives of Melbourne Gillian
“I’ve missed you.” “Have you?”

I think it’s also worth mentioning the bitch-fest at Gamble’s house. Lydia tried to deflect the negative attention she received after betraying Pettifleur onto everyone else…by insulting Pettifleur. True friendship: “Last year, I had to do everything with you. Okay? Do you not remember that? No one wanted to sit with you! No one wanted to – because you were annoying.” Lydia doesn’t bother sugar coating, she’s too busy flirting with car salesmen.

FAVOURITE RICH PEOPLE MOMENT

Lydia has contributed enough to Joanna’s savings over the years that she really should buy a Porsche with all that money. Poor Joanna is probably saving her hard earned pennies so she can one day escape.

Real Housewives of MElbourne SEason 3 Episode 3

Lydia Real Housewives of Melbourne
Doesn’t everyone have their new cars delivered to their driveway and unveiled from under a silk car cover?

 

FAVOURITE SECONDARY CHARACTER (AKA HIRED HELP)

The Porsche car salesmen, Michael, was back and sleazier than ever. “It is stiffer, which is nice,” Michael talking about…the car. But I think Gina’s PA, Josh, takes the cake for being the most disorganised assistant of all time. He went into Gina’s Chemist Warehouse meeting without anything to write on and looked petrified whenever anyone asked him a question.

Real Housewives of Melbourne

OMNOMNOM: FOODIE MOMENT

Pettifleur and her tray of wasted cakes? She would have been better off just serving a tray of ice cubes.

Cakes Real Housewives of Melbourne

BEST FACIAL EXPRESSION

Lydia showing us how she makes Figaro smile.
Lydia showing us how she makes Figaro smile.
Figaro Real Housewives of Melbourne
What he actually looks like 100% of the time.

 

“Who the fuck is Pettifleur?” One season later and we are all still scratching our heads over this one. Meanwhile, Lydiot the Hypocrite: “And Suzie? Who’s that?”

“Who the fuck is Pettifleur?” One season later and we are all still scratching our heads over this one. Meanwhile, Lydiot the Hypocrite: “And Suzie? Who’s that?”

HOUSEWIFE OF THE WEEK

Gamble for her epic and totally justified, “Get fucked!” directed at Pettifleur after she hands back Gamble’s wedding invitation. You go girl! Plus, she was getting it anyway for keeping a photo of Janet in her freezer on top of the peas – freezer burn!

REal housewives of Melbourne Season 3 Episode 3

Real Housewives of MElbourne

QUESTIONS

  • Do you know what your sister does for a living?
  • Who do you keep a photo of in your freezer?
  • Do you think we will see Janet’s step-daughter on Neighbours soon? She did deliver a killer performance.
  • Who wants to see more of the Italian speaking Chemist Warehouse guy?

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