Season 3

After last week’s explosive ending we were all hoping for more fireworks and bitchiness in this episode. Unfortunately, it was a tamer affair with no outright cat fights, just plenty of simmering tension between the housewives. Check out some of our highlights of Real Housewives of Melbourne Season 3, Episode 2.


Figaro Real Housewives of Melbourne
They see me rollin’

Figaro, Lydia’s much-loved dog, often steals the show with his perfectly timed facial expressions, but this week he wowed us all with his sense of style. Figs was rocking the latest in doggy couture with his red puffer vest, white hoodie and charcoal tailored pants. It’s time to re-evaluate your life when a dog has more style than you.

Honourable mentions: Lydia’s black leather fingerless gloves and Gina’s red on red on red on red outfit.


  • “She knows that she’s not allowed to leave me. I’ve got her passport, anyway.” – Someone call the authorities on Lydia, she’s holding her housekeeper hostage.
  • “Raise your argument, not your voice” – Gina. Preach, girl, preach. This is why I am forever #TeamGina.
  • “You know, clearly, she’s got it in there for me.” – Got it in where, Lydia?
  • “Brian would be the perfect man if he wasn’t a cheating piece of shit.” – Janet telling it like it is!
  • “She works me like a buffalo.” – Pettifleur, getting her animals mixed up.


“Her days consist of changing outfits on her dog.” – Susie talking about Lydia. BURN.


Real housewives of Melbourne

The housewives went to Pottery Barn at Chadstone for a spot of shopping. After looking at rich people homewares they casually sat down on a couch in the middle of the store and got their drink on – three champagne bottles worth! I’ve been into Pottery Barn before and let me tell you – I didn’t get squat! PB you’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do.


Then you’ve got Lydia, who is apparently a “blogger” and works on it “full time” and it’s just “so hard”. She has a sexy lingerie shoot at her house where she pouts at the camera in black underwear, horns, and dripping in diamonds. Now guys, fellow Cactus Poppers…are we sure we are doing this right? Because we haven’t scheduled any sexy lingerie shoots as far as I am aware?



The entire trip to the Porsche dealer was awks. As soon as Lydia’s husband Andrew left, she kept trying to flirt with the confused salesman Michael and make everything sound dirty. Michael: “We’ll go for a drive and I’ll show you how it works.” Lydia: “…Okay.” Michael: “Are you free now?” Lydia: “What does that mean?” Umm, it means you’ll go for a drive and he’ll show you how it works. Lydia: “But I know you’re married, uh, Michael..umm…are you?” Michael: “No.” Lydia: “Oh.”

Real Housewives of MElbourne Pettifleur

Pettifleur shows us how exactly she got in the “best shape of her life” and sadly it didn’t involve a trip to Liberty Belle. Pettifleur has been working out with one of the most hard-ass personal trainers ever to grace our screens. This girl didn’t even let Pettifleur stop to take a drink of water. That’s just cruel. I love seeing regs (regular people) dishing it back to the housewives so I found their interaction pretty entertaining.


Lydia narrowly missed taking out this title for the second week running cause she rides escalators like a di-va.


But this episode was all about the redemption of Pettifleur. I actually teared up during her chat with her son. She isn’t all feathers and finger-clicking. She has a heart in there somewhere! Plus, she wears pink gloves while driving and horse riding and that’s classy.

Petti PF


Gina and Pettifleur have a “friendly” dinner at what looks to be a great restaurant serving delicious food. So of course, this is what they order:

Screen Shot 2016-02-29 at 7.54.45 pm

Screen Shot 2016-02-29 at 7.54.03 pm


  • Did ‘the angels’ knock out Janet’s earring?
  • Is the fan who gave Pettifleur the portrait above her fireplace (that “really, really looks like her”) named Pettifleur?
  • Do you wish that you had one of those memory eraser sticks from Men In Black and could erase the memory of Janet’s husband talking about “happy endings”?

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