Real Housewives of Melbourne Recap

The wait is over! Crack open a bottle of La Mascara, switch your bitch, and get ready to say ‘Wow” because everybody in Melbourne’s favourite show is back! This season promises to be just as drama-filled as previous seasons. When the first episode ends in a screaming match, and insults such as “Grandma”, “Lydiot” and “” are flying around you know it’s going to be good.

Here are some of our favourite moments from Season 3, Episode 1 of The Real Housewives of Melbourne!

Favourite Outfit

Pettifleur RHOM

Pettifleur RHOM

Just casually heading out for coffee. I always dress like this, don’t you?

Favourite Quotes

  • “Two rights don’t make a…Two rights don’t make a right?” – Oh Lydia. Bless.
  • “We really love each other but we will go in with a prenup”. Gamble on her upcoming nuptials to Wolf-Pup that is definitely, maybe going to last.
  • Also “wrongan”. Another doozy from Lydia, making up words left, right and centre.

Favourite Bitchy Moment

Lydia gets in the middle of a Gamble / Pettifleur cat-fight and the results are hilarious. Pettifleur tells Lydia, her new BFF, that Gamble is a Black Widow because she “mates and kills”. When Gamble confronts Pettifleur she is p-issed. Both at Lydia for stabbing her in the back, and at Gamble…because, well, there is no love lost between those two. We know shit got real because Gamble did her signature hand-in-the-air-wave-it-like-you-just-don’t-care move.

Screen Shot 2016-02-23 at 8.55.39 pm 1

Screen Shot 2016-02-23 at 8.45.04 pm


Favourite Rich People Moment

Pettifleur repeatedly dropping her Chanel handbag on the ground like it was just no big deal at all. If I had a Chanel handbag, no way would that be going anywhere near any floor.

Favourite Secondary Character (AKA Hired Help)


I mean, his face was exactly this the whole way through the show. Can’t say I blame him. Especially when Gina mentioned she wanted one of the elements of her new fragrance to be the scent of hairspray. LOL


Love him. He had the guts to say a big fat NO to Gamble’s idea of a Chinese Opera themed wedding. Amen for your sanity, Alin. We need more of you in this show!


Poor, long suffering Joanna the House Friend. Apparently she can only converse about laundry powder and different types of sponges, and is expected to be excited by such “fun” topics of conversation.

Housewife of the Week

RHOM Lydia

New words, new friends, new enemies, new gossip, new lows. Lydia was all over it all tonight. Can’t wait to see how the supposed affair with Shane Warne develops.

Question Time:

  • What goss will Suzie dish from the past about Lydia?
  • Will Pettifleur make amends with her son, after admitting she pretty much kicked him out?
  • What is your favourite type of sponge?
  • Of all the Lydia-isms from tonight, which is your favourite?

2 thoughts on “Real Housewives of Melbourne: Season 3, Episode 1

  1. Need to get Foxtel ASAP so that I can watch! This post just reminded me how much I have missed the Lydia-isms, Gamble’s hand moves and Pettifleur’s ridiculous outfits.

    If you haven’t already, you MUST check out the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (start from Season 1). It is truly AMAZE.


    1. Ooh spoiler alert for you Eleni! You definitely need to get Foxtel – I don’t even think we’ve done the episode any justice at all. I did catch a couple of minutes of BH and thought I might need to start watching – Lisa Rinna’s face is out of control.


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