To help you get in the festive spirit, enjoy a schmaltzy Christmas movie review of Melissa Joan Hart’s 2007 comedic classic Holiday in Handcuffs!
HOLIDAY IN HANDCUFFS (2007)
Melissa Joan Hart (Sabrina), Mario Lopez (hunky Latino guy from Saved by the Bell and more recently Extra), Markie Post (Mary’s mum from There’s Something About Mary and Erin’s mum from Chicago P.D.) and Kyle Howard (Lauren Conrad’s ex).
The big picture
Trudie (Joan Hart) is a down-on-her-luck waitress with artistic talent whose boyfriend dumps her right before Christmas. This causes her to have a “small nervous breakdown” and kidnap diner patron David (Lopez) to take him home in his place.
I mean the whole plot is lame – we’re expected to believe that a beefy guy gets kidnapped by a short crazy lady with an old war pistol and then plays along with the act to make her humiliation worse later on when she gets caught? Anyway, the lamest moment for me is when Trudie’s stove isn’t working and she wants to reheat Chinese leftovers for breakfast so she blow dries the bottom of the take-away box.
RED FACE SCENE
Trudie was having a bad morning all round cause she accidentally “overcooked” her hair and it turned out like this:
Scene that Made Me CHUCKLE
Trudie relives an old ice-skating routine from her childhood with some impressive moves but it’s a bit like when an actress is pregnant and they have to hold big bags in front of their belly to try and cover it up. This scene had a lot of wide shots and blonde hair flying all over the place since it was clearly not MJH doing the skating.
KINDA ROMANTIC MOMENT
It’s hard to find any of the moments during his kidnapping romantic since he’s being held against his will. So I’ll go with the end when he dumps his stereotypical bitch fiance, buys Trudie’s twinkly ice skating painting, “kidnaps” her and takes her to an art gallery/architecture studio he bought for them to share.
Scene that Made Me Hungry
Trudie and David tuck into Santa’s Oreos and milk on Christmas Eve and they discuss being ‘Twisters or Dunkers’.
Best DISPLAY OF Christmas SPIRIT
The family tradition of reading ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas together was pretty lame but also kinda cute.
Most Memorable LineS
“(A fine arts degree) is an expensive way to say,’do you want fries with that?'”
“We thought maybe she liked the innies, you know, not the outties.” (Father talking about Trudie never having brought a man home)
“If this was my world, I wouldn’t have to picture Clint Eastwood to get through our annual birthday sex!”
Overall Score on the Christmas TV Movie Scale
‘Tis the Season to be DISAPPOINTED
Oh What Fun it is To Watch
It’s a Christmas Miracle!